Motivation
Or rather the lack thereof
Nearly every person with whom I’ve spoken this week is experiencing it. In some instances, it is a genuine sign of depression, either situational or episodic. And in those cases I’m very glad each and every one of those folks has reached out for qualified help. Still for others, the answer isn’t depression.
I feel this too, and there’s been an upswing during this unusual time of Covid-19. It was not present before I changed jobs and am now stuck in the house. Inertia definitely made its grand entrance into my life. For me, there often been this existential component behind motivation. If I can’t visualize the bigger picture or silver lining behind an action, then the completion or even attempt of such becomes so much harder. It’s like wading through brackish water. Having also lived through episodes of true depression in life, I can compare the instances. Simply put, they aren’t the same. Apathy is different. Yet it doesn’t answer what’s behind the lack of motivation for me…because the question is a challenging one. The question is:
What’s the meaning?
Mankind – or for the feminists reading this- humankind has asked this question since the sun first rose, or at least since we first perceived its rising.
As a clinician, I believe most of life’s struggles emerge in our search for meaning. When we grasp the effervescence of our lives, we want to make sense of it all. Not being able to see an immediate justification in existence is a cause for distress. My hypothesis is that most of us have the luxury of experiencing that distress; it’s called a mid-life crisis. (Sidenote: The placement of the word “luxury” is intentional only of moments when our basic needs are met can our minds feel safe and secure enough to contemplate beyond survival. But there are those locked into survival mode for whom other questions are more imminent). Yet, I digress.
Life is what you make of it, some would say. The stark reality is that for many of folks, there isn’t much to make of it at present. We’re limited and restricted by fears valid and absurd, laws, and regulations. These are our own, or they are those of others but continue to affect us all. It need not be a political thing but for so many it is which only serves to separate and divide…and perhaps that’s the piece missed.
If meaning is derived through connection and relationship to others, to activities, to nature, et cetera then division, angry extremes, hatred, and apathy uproot all possibility of experiencing purpose.
In that space are left alone, afraid, sad, and in pain…with no meaning…with no motivation…stuck as individuals even though collectively the underlying experiences are the same.
“Try to think of it as an opportunity” I often say (because a little bit of cognitive reframing never hurts). What is this time trying to teach us?
What is it telling us we need?
What can it inspire us to do?
What is its meaning and intention?
I don’t know the answers to these because the answers are unique to each individual. Yet, I do know that all things change; all things rise and fall and pass away. And I also know that each answer holds the spark that will reignite our flames.